There was an issue(or more than one) with a member the local fur group I'm friends with. He ended up "leaving the fandom" and trying to say it was all the VT furs fault. No do NOT try and blame Rally and Ahzlon for your own misbehavior at the meets. Do not try and throw a pity party for yourself because someone had an issue with your actions.
Take responsibility and own up to the problems people are bringing up to you. It may be hard to deal with but no one wanted you to leave, they just wanted you to change the actions that made everyone uncomfortable and in some cases possibly unsafe.
Reread the rules of coming to the meets and respect other people or don't come.
It's not ok to make others uncomfortable or irritated while they are supposed to be having fun just for you to enjoy things more. I do not appreciate how you tried to tell your friends that we hate you and are mean to you (literally half of what really happened and half plain bologna) when we tried to be as nice as possible without letting you do whatever you want. You simply can't do some of the things you did and were planning to do. Not around us and not where we were going.
From here on is important bulleted lists on furmeets or
any other costume meet up!
(warning a bit of a rant at times)
- RESPECT THE RULES OF THE GROUP YOU ARE GOING WITH.
- Don't have impolite conversations out in public. No talking about bedroom stuff around strangers. (not even just a fur meet rule just general don't be rude kind of stuff) this makes the group as a whole look like something they are not (don't drag others into your dirty laundry)
- Don't take pictures of people who don't want their picture taken (
also common sense butapplies to all costume type scenarios)
- Don't bother other people who are at the venue of the meet who are not at the meet in particular. (It is not a convention not everyone is a furry/anime fan don't act like you can get away with bumping into people or in general bothering them!)
- DO NOT TOUCH SOMEONE OR THEIR STUFF IF THEY DON'T GIVE YOU PERMISSION. Big issue. No you cannot just grab someones tail or hanging costume accessories just as you cannot just grab someones shirt or pants. There is such a thing as personal space even for people in costume (imagine that!) and you need to respect that.
- Do not make the group look like something we are not. YOU might like something but you don't have the authority to represent all of us. ( I DO NOT LIKE TO BE SHOWN AS SOMETHING I'M NOT. I think a lot of people will agree that it is not ok when a member of something you're attending does something dumb and everyone catches the blame. DON'T BE THAT GUY/GAL!)
- When someone tells you to stop doing whatever it is you are doing respect that. (When the people running the meet tell you to politely stop you need to stop right away. They are trying to keep everyone happy and safe not just raining on your parade. )
- If the people running an event ask you to leave respect it. They may ask you back at a later time if you don't push your limits.
- RESPECT THE VENUES RULES! If the place in which the meet is being held doesn't allow something you want to do, don't go or don't do it it's that simple. No costumes means no costumes whether you like it or not. also don't bring drinks or loud music or whatever the rule is because they are there to protect and keep happy the other people who go there! (99% of the time the group also has no control over this so don't whine at them.)
- Also respect that people not in the group will generally be there! Don't try and recruit them or get in their way, they are not there to deal with you.
- You are not the center of attention. No one HAS to do anything for you and you need to remember that.
IF YOU CANNOT FOLLOW THESE GUIDELINES:
- DO NOT blame the group for telling you of any of these or asking you to leave. (YOU did that not them.)
- DO NOT try and throw a pity party to your friends about how mean the group is. (
If I ran the group this would win you a nice ban but I'm not as nice as the admins of VT furs)
- DO NOT try and blame them for any other trouble you have or any action you take thereafter.
(For our group in particular: WE did not tell you you could not be in the fandom or that we would even do anything if you stayed. NO ONE told you to "burn your costume" or anything of the like. Don't try and blame anyone for that but yourself.)
- Do NOT try and whine at the group admins to get your way. (Unless you are one of their small children this should be common sense.)
- Do NOT try and show up to a venue in an outfit that would be against their dress code. For instance, wearing a costume that is very revealing to a place with a lot of children. If you have already been told not to do this and try to anyway you shouldn't be going to meet ups you are not mature enough. (It really is that simple.)
- Do not try and make things harder on those running things (they work hard so you can have fun)
- DON'T COME IF YOU CAN'T FOLLOW (OR JUST SIMPLY DON'T LIKE) THE RULES!
I'm not saying these things to be mean or spiteful. These rules are in place for a reason and if you don't understand them you need to ask or just go with it.
Most of these rules allow meet ups to keep happening and keep being safe and fun for all involved. I really mean that last one, IF YOU DON'T LIKE HOW SOMETHING IS DONE DON'T COME you'll just make those who do like it angry and upset with you.
End rant/ info dump! xp
I really like going to local fur meets and people like this put those meets in danger of not continuing! That puts everyone on edge and makes people who like to go uneasy and unhappy. If you are the person who ends up causing trouble then just apologize or have fun elsewhere. You make me mad when you act childish and throw tantrums.
Wow what a huge amount of text! Sorry everyone! Hope this can help some people.