Saturday, December 12, 2015

Vlogging is weird

It's also a little difficult for me. I really like the idea of using it to overcome my camera shyness but then I make a ton of videos and never post them because I don't like how I look 80% of the time? I want to be less critical but it's a lot easier said than done. I can't do a lot right now to fix what I dislike so I'm just going to have to deal with my low self esteem for a while.

I hope I can record something sometime soon since the last video I made was done almost two months ago? I had trouble editing it then I didn't have bandwidth to upload it. x.x

So I may post it with a disclaimer then upload a new video. I'm not sure yet. I feel like I should post things more though.

Becoming tired.

Rant of the day! :
I'm always tired so this title is a little misleading but recently I've been very busy and stressed and today is so slow at work that I've cleaned a few things twice. I wouldn't mind but I work at a front desk, I can't really leave and go do things. I didn't bring my computer because morning shifts are usually much busier than the evening shifts I usually work.

I don't have any problem covering shifts even if the excuse is "I need a day" but I have a problem with people calling out to get a full weekend off or when they know the shift is going to be a tough one to get covered. Today I think is one of these such instances.

I'm not bored but the time passes so slowly when your waiting to be able to do something. I could be working on my last two college projects for the semester, fixing the last thing in my financial aid, or even working on my portfolio artwork that I'll be turning in next month! I'm very stressed about getting this stuff done and I really don't have time to spend standing here because someone wanted a day off.

On top of this odd weekend it looks like I'm working Christmas morning because I'm the low man on the totem pole so to speak. I'm pretty upset by it but I didn't even bother asking for it off since I know everyone who has seniority will be expecting it off and I'd be stuck with it. I am mostly upset that my sister is very unhappy with it since she has trouble with change (so do I!) and this year is a tough one for us all to get off and that's hard for her. Working holidays sucks but its worse when you already worked a major one and need to work another.

This year has not been a great one... especially these past few months. I've been able to do some good things like getting into college, getting this job, going to AC, and seeing friends but I've missed out on so many things I've wanted to do that I'm just completely bummed out and burned up. I've definitive had better years and had better times of wrestling with my mental health. x_x

P.S. I think my head will implode if I hear this radio play another Tailor Swift song! Be done already!